5 Minute Fridays

I've been Following 'The Gypsy Mama' blog for a while.  She and those who follow her are given a different word each Friday and write 'from the heart' about it for 5 minutes - Then they share on her blog and our own. I thought I'd start to do this, also, and offer up another of my 'creative avenues' - the original creative aspect I'd begun to cultivate many years ago. 

Join me, let me know what you think of this.   Please scroll down and post your thoughts/comments at the very bottom of all of these entries here  - Thanks!
10/19/12                                                            LOOK                                                (5 Minute Friday)

But You have seen it.
You look upon trouble and suffering, to take it into Your hands.
The suffering man gives himself to You.
You are the Helper of the one who has no father.
Psalm 10 : 14

She would look into their eyes – and see into their hearts…

They were little girls in families of unspeakable violence and she cradled them with her vigilant love, God’s teachings and His help…

They were families of siblings who had been mistreated by their own parents in heinous ways.  She looked, held, listened and prayed…

They were teens – young men and women - who had already experienced in their short lives so much more than Anyone should experience in a lifetime.  She looked, tried to teach by example and loved with all her heart…

They were young women who were looking, learning and searching for Who they were and where they should go in life from their painful pasts.  She sheltered them – in her home – and in her heart…

She hoped to once again look upon them all someday and to see that it had ‘mattered.’
10/5/12                                                            WELCOME                                  (5 Minute Friday)

And whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me.
Matthew 18 : 5

The days of WELCOME were diametrically opposite.  Both had taken ‘more than a lifetime’ to be accomplished.  Each had been anticipated with longing – with excitement – with hope – with Love –

SHE had come after a journey culminating in a cross-country flight – which may as well have been interplanetary for the time it had taken to actually get there.  SHE, who had cried incessantly and would not be comforted for the first two weeks of her life in the arms of strangers, was quieted immediately when placed in the welcoming arms of her Mother.  SHE was where God had intended her to be from her fist moment of life.  Her WELCOME ceased the pain of many empty years and many oceans of tears.

HE had come after a long journey of indescribable situations and heartbreak culminating in Joy.  HE, whose first cry she heard as the song of an Angel sent to her straight from Heaven, was moved from her body to her welcoming arms and throbbing breast.  Her WELCOME continued the journey from inside her Heart to the outside world of wonder and all that it would afford him.

THEY had come at long last – Gifts from God – Cherished – Loved - WELCOMED by her -

9/7/12                                                            GRACEFUL                              (5 Minute Fridays)

How beautiful your sandaled feet, O prince’s daughter!
 Your graceful legs are like jewels, the work of an artist’s hands.
Song of Solomon 7: 1

graceful:  characterized by elegance or beauty of form, manner, movement or speech; elegant.

She came from a long line of plain, common, country women – from poor – from uneducated – from sturdy women who had not much – but they had God.

She was tall, thin, gangly – with the nickname ‘Spider’ and glasses she wore only when she desperately need to see, but often didn’t and was then deemed as ‘stuck-up’ because of her poor vision and her quiet manner.

The books-on-her-head-while-wearing-high-heels-walks - back and forth across the living room floor  - for hours at a time, and learning how to stand tall and sit erect and speak softly, kindly had enabled her to grow into gracefulness. 

To this day, her friends pointed out that all she did, said, cooked, crafted and offered of herself was done ‘with an elegant touch’…

She was a dinosaur in a Jetson era.  She was the ‘last of the ladies.’  No one wanted a Lady today.  But she had God.
8/31/12                                                            CHANGE                                      (5 Minute Fridays)

...and you will be changed into a different person.
I Samuel 10: 6

(In checking my Dictionary App, I saw that there were 38 definitions for ‘change’!  I will speak to #12.)

12.)  change:  to pass gradually into -

It had definitely been gradual.  It had definitely been a change.  She had been young, full of Hope and Expectation.  Constantly doing for others – giving more than she actually had to give.  Loving beyond whatever the expectation might be.  Giving to any and all who passed into her life for even a few seconds…

Years and years of painful treatment by those she loved the most, rejection by those for whom she had done her utmost, and now a solitary life for which she had not ‘signed up’ had left her a very different person at this time.

She had gradually become a mole, living in the darkened shadow of her once vibrant and full life.  Alone every minute of every interminably long week – month - year –

She had expected that because of all she had done Then that when Now had come, she might be accepted, cared about, cared for, included, accepted…loved…wanted…  But it was not to be.  She wasn’t any of that.

She had certainly changed…gradually…into the hollow shell of Who she really was…  Only God cared…He had promised.
8/24/12                                                                 JOIN                                         (5 Minute Fridays)

They all joined together constantly in prayer…
Acts 1:14

(In checking my Dictionary App, I saw that there are 20 definitions for ‘join’!  I will speak to #3.)

3.)  join:  to bring together in a particular relation or for a specific purpose, action, etc.

In quiet and darkness – alone and lonely – day after day – she existed.  She did not expect when she had opened that small window to the world – a.k.a. her blog – that she would, little by little, be introduced to some of the Most Amazing Women – around the world!  Never did it occur to her that she might find others of ‘like mind’ and situation – others who believed as she did – who dreamed as she did – to make a difference – to make a living – to make a mark here on earth…

She had never been known to be a ‘joiner’ – unless the situation had demanded it.  She was quite comfortable being alone – not by choice, but she’d become used to it.  Now, she had found a whole new world that she had unknowingly ‘joined’!!

She was thankful for each brief contact, each encouraging word, each bit of information acquired and shared…  She was thankful she had joined this lovely Space – which had given her Hope, once again.

8/17/12                                                STRETCH                                                (5 Minute Fridays)

In the day of my trouble I seek (inquire of and desperately require) the Lord;
 in the night my hand is STRETCHed out [in prayer] without slacking up…
Psalm 77: 2  (MSG)

Stretching was not just something to be done for exercise.

Her paternal great-grandparents had come to America from The Netherlands and had stretched not only imagination to dream of a good life here, but had then stretched everything to make it through the Depression with their family of four daughters.  They depended upon the Lord daily and her last memories of her Great-Grandma were of her singing the Dutch Psalter at the age of 98.

Her maternal great-grandparents had stretched a meager tobacco farm income, along with donations from their small Southern Baptist Churches to which they both were Ministers, to care for their 15 children in the hills of Kentucky.  They depended upon the Lord daily and her last memories of her Great-Granny were of her speaking verses and praying at the age of 99.

Her maternal and paternal grandparents had also continued the belief that the Lord would bring them through whatever befell them and their hands and hearts remained outstretched for his daily provision and blessings to them.

Her own parents had struggled and stretched a meager teacher’s salary to provide for their five children.  They brought her up to know the Lord and she had depended upon Him daily.

She and her ex-husband had stretched a meager minister’s salary to accommodate not only provision for their own two children, but numerous foster children and various long-term ‘houseguests’ through the many years that they were together.

In the ensuing years that she had now been alone, she had stretched finances, talents and energy to keep herself going in the most dire of circumstances. 

Yes, she was ‘battered’ and older and Alone, but because of the constant stretching out of her hands to Him, she was still as ‘limber’ as the lithe young woman she had once been…if only in her mind…  Would that she might be remembered…as she remembered her great-grandmothers and grandmothers…  Heart and hands outstretched to Him…praying…singing…to her last breath.
8/10/12                                                            CONNECT                                    (5 Minute Fridays)

In Christ's body we're all CONNECTed to each other, after all.
Ephesians 4:25  (MSG)

How is it that she was able to CONNECT with people across the country and around the word via the marvelous technology of the Internet and her newly-entered blogging world, but it seemed impossible to CONNECT with those who were closest to her heart?…

The marvels of Cyberspace afforded her the wonderful opportunities to expand her horizons for communication beyond her immediate, local, confined area.  She was afforded the blessings of hearing from – learning from – lovely, gifted, Sisters-in-Christ bloggers on any number of topics from around the world.  She had access to them 24/7.  For all of which she was immensely thankful.

Yet – the impossible, unseen, unknown barriers which prevented her from being able to CONNECT with specific Loved Ones brought incredible pain, frustration and emptiness.  Perhaps it was the ‘prophet-not-being-accepted-in-his-own-country’ thing…  Perhaps it was much more.  She did not understand – nor did she know what to do.

Lord, please help to allow her to CONNECT with them…

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8/3/12                                                                        HERE…                                   (5 Minute Fridays)

This is my resting place for ever and ever; HERE I will sit…
Psalm 132:14
Then you will call, and the Lord will answer;
 you will cry for help and He will way, HERE am I.
Isaiah 58:9

She was Here.  She was not There where she had thought she would be, but she was Here.  There were many things she could not do that she would like to do, but she was now able to do some things she couldn’t have done before.

There were places she had been, people she had known, songs she had sung, gifts from the heart she had given…  There was none of that Here now.

Here – she sat in the silence and… remembered… read… studied… learned… created… wrote… prayed… waited… loved, if only from afar…  She listened… heard the voices… heard the music… in her heart.

They were not here…but she knew that He was.  She knew He always had been or she would not have made it through all she’d been through… even to Here.

7/27/12                                                      BEYOND                                             (5 Minute Fridays)

This is what the Lord says:
  Your wound is incurable, your injury BEYOND healing.
Jeremiah 30:12

How could she have known then what was BEYOND the busyness of growing up in a large family with never-quiet-always-too-many-people around?

How could she have know then what was BEYOND the work-and-pleasure-related travels across America ad around the world?

How could she have known then what was BEYOND the finally-raising-children-and–all-that-goes-with-it-long-days-short-nights-house-and-yard-caring-teaching-nurturing-loving-guiding days?

How could she have known then that BEYOND all of that would be This?  The alone.  The quiet.  The empty.  The nothing.  The not-knowing-how-to go-ahead.  Here in the BEYOND of the Broken Heart.

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7/20/12                                                            ENOUGH                                    (5 Minute Fridays)

The eye never has enough of seeing, nor the ear its fill of hearing.
Ecclesiastes 1:8b

Can one ever have ENOUGH love?  Can one ever give ENOUGH love?  Can one ever give too much love?

She had never really felt that she had been loved – truly – by anyone.  A harsh, totally dysfunctional childhood without ‘true love’ had slid her into a long, harsh marriage devoid of ‘true love,’ which had then descended into these many years of emptiness without any semblance of ‘true love.’

She had determined early on that should she be blessed with children of her own she would never allow them to feel unloved for even one second.  She finally had been so blessed and had endeavored in all she said and did to keep that promise.

Now after many years, she had been informed that she had loved too much - and in all other areas she had NOT been ENOUGH.  Thus, she was now – still alone – and very much unloved, unwanted…not ENOUGH…

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7/6/12                                                            STORY                                    (5 Minute Fridays)

Return to your home, and recount the story
of how many and great things God has done for you.
Luke 8: 39

Story -  n.  a narration of the events in the life of a person or the existence of a thing

It has become increasingly clear – crystal – that they don’t know her STORY…nor do they seem to care or want to know…  Not her STORY – the ‘ME’ that is inside her – the ‘ME’ that continued through incredible odds to bring them to this world – to nurture – to teach – to love  - to grow them into the WHO that they are today…

Constant criticism of the infractions…the few…overrides all of the holding, touching, complimenting, encouraging, showing, teaching, sharing, giving, loving – How is it that a Mother can ‘love too much’??!!

Years of STORY had happened before they arrived – Years of STORY were kept from them…to hide the pain of it all…  Years of STORY have happened since the Great Divide…many chapters kept private and hidden from them…to hide the pain of it all…

She now hopes to tell the STORY in many and various creative ways.  Perhaps one day they will take time to learn the STORY…  She wishes it might be sooner rather than later.  The STORY her heart cries into the dark days and night may someday turn the light on…but for now the darkness – the emptiness – is the current STORY…

6/29/12                                               DANCE                                                (5 Minute Fridays)

Let them praise his name in the dance;
 let them sing praises unto him with the timbrel and harp.
Psalm 149:3

Dance:  move with rhythmic steps, leaps, gestures – usually to music – be in lively movement

Music had always been breath to her.  From an early age, it had filled her heart and her soul and its language spoke to her like nothing else did.  Its strains wafting on threads of air could transport her to far-away places, distant times and also in worship of her Lord.  It moved her - and made her move, but that had been forbidden where she grew up.

She had stifled it and only on rare occasion had she disobeyed – transgressed – sinned - and allowed herself the wonderfully mystic freedom to dance…

Now, these many yeas later, she would faithfully dream weekly as she imagined herself ’…with the Stars’ or ‘…think[ing she could]’…   She lived it in her heart, knowing that it was way too late for its actuality.  She realized that for all her restraint, she had not allowed herself the freedom to dance in all that she had done – and that all she had done – correctly – was for naught.

Sad to have wasted her life living for others and not for herself.  In the little time she had left to her, she determined to dance – every chance she could – from now on…  Get out the timbrel and harp!
“I Hope You Dance” / LeeAnn Womack

I hope you never lose your sense of wonder
You get your fill to eat but always keep that hunger
May you never take one single breath for granted
God forbid love ever leave you empty handed
I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean
Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens
Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance

I hope you dance
I hope you dance

I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance
Never settle for the path of least resistance
Livin' might mean takin' chances, but they're worth takin'
Lovin' might be a mistake, but it's worth makin'
Don't let some Hellbent heart leave you bitter
When you come close to sellin' out, reconsider
Give the heavens above more than just a passing glance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance

I hope you dance
I hope you dance
(Time is a wheel in constant motion always rolling us along)
I hope you dance
I hope you dance
(Tell me who wants to look back on their years and wonder, where those years have gone?)

I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean
Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens
Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance

(Time is a wheel in constant motion always rolling us along)
I hope you dance
I hope you dance

6/22/12                                                RISK                                                (5 Minute Fridays)

…the race is not to the swift , nor the battle to the strong…
but time and chance happeneth to them all. 
Ecclesiastes 9:11

n.  exposure to the chance of injury or loss, a hazard or dangerous chance
v.  to expose to the chance of injury or loss

She had ‘taken a risk’ many times in her life – She had thought things through, prayed things through, looked at all the options, made her decisions on the facts available at the time – but there had definitely been risks – risks that she was bravely willing to take…

Some had ended up in total, excruciatingly devastating failure.  Some had just not worked from inception – and life went on.

There were two instances that had been taken – and although things were not as she’d hoped and planned, even to this day, those two risks had been worth it.  She was thankful for having taken those risks, which had totally and thoroughly impacted her life.

Had she the chance, she would take those two risks again – no matter the pain…

6/15/12                                                                     PATH                                        (5 Minute Fridays)

When my spirit was overwhelmed within me, then thou knewest my path.
Psalm 142:3a

He has showed you, O [wo]man, what is good. 
And what does the Lord require of you? 
To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.
Micah 6:8

Spring had begun with the fresh, hyacinth and lilac scented warming air, budding leaves on trees and bushes, sunlight glinting on the path ahead as she skipped merrily along with Hope filling her heart…

Summer brought bright, humid-wrapped days smelling of freshly laundered, outdoor-air-dried sheets, new-mown grass, Sterling roses fresh from the garden and cricket-dark nights of still-hot  breezes on rain-splashed pavement as she meandered along the path holding little hands in hers…

Autumn briskly blew multi-colored leaves past smoky, crackling blazes, cider-drenched, pumpkin donut-filled days and the path ahead became strewn with the fallen foliage making it harder to follow as she bravely continued on…

Winter’s snow-blanketed, wind-drift-mounded, storm-darkened days followed by darker, frost-breathed, crisp nights covered the path, making it near impossible to find it as she trudged slowly  along it to the now unknown, unseen end…

Dear, Lord, please don’t let go of her hand, as only You know the path…
6/8/12                                                EXPECTATION                                                (5 Minute Fridays)

My soul, wait thou only upon God; for my expectation is from Him.
Psalm 62:5

expectation:  n.  * the act or state of expecting, looking forward to – something expected, looked forward to – an expectant mental attitude

She had had great expectations when, as a young bride, she thought she was escaping an incredibly hard childhood in an extremely dysfunctional family and going to a wonderful future with a fine Christian man…

She had expected to have a large family of her own and to show that by following God – as she had committed to do as a child – she could show love and guidance and make a happy, well-founded-on-the-Lord family and life…

She had expected that her marriage would last a lifetime…

She had expected to be truly loved and taken care of – even as she cared for all others around her – as the days of spring moved through summer, then fall and now into the winter of her life…

She had expected to be in a totally different place – physically, situationally, and emotionally – than she was now…

She had always had very high expectations for herself – her life – her future – and all of it had fallen quite short of all of that…

Evidently, God’s expectations for her had been quite different from her own…as she still waited daily for His answers…trusting Him, even when she didn’t see…
6/1/2012                                                SEE                                                (5 Minute Fridays)

(I had computer problems this past week, so this didn’t get posted to The Gypsy Mama site in time.  I am just posting it here late – basically for me, since I had written it…)

I remain confident of this:
 I will see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living.
Psalm 27:13

(I was surprised to discover that there are some 22 definitions of this short 3-letter word!  I have incorporated 6 of them here -)

See:  v.  *    to perceive with the eyes, look at
                *    to perceive things mentally, discern, understand
-->                *    --> to construct a mental image of, visualize
      *    to make sure
      *    to meet and converse with
      *    to visit

She remembered seeing all of them the very first instant of their lives with her – each in a different way – yet each of them a Most Precious Gift…

She treasured still the opportunities when she could actually see them – times when she would just look at them, much to their consternation, memorizing each feature of their visage – attempting to see into their souls – seeing the Who that they have become – such as no one had ever done for her…

She could see them in her mind in the long, lonely days, weeks, and months that passed in between their visits now that life situations had pulled them so very far apart…

She looked forward with immense anticipation to the time when she might see them again – touch them – hold them close to the heart which held them in it each moment of each day – and which saw them as no other on earth could see them…  She hoped to see them – soon…

5/25/12                                            OPPORTUNITY                                      (5 Minute Fridays)

Let us not become weary in doing good,
for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. 
Therefore, as we have OPPORTUNITY, let us do good to all people,
especially to those who belong to the family of believers. 
Galatians 6:9,10

Opportunity:  n.  an appropriate or favorable time or occasion

Admittedly so, there have been many times – even in recent days – when she had ‘become weary in doing good.’  Not that SHE hadn’t felt the importance of the ‘good,’ but she had not felt that her efforts had been as successful as she had hoped.

She’d always been a hard worker – whatever the situation – and she’d never minded ‘going the extra mile’ in whatever she endeavored.  She did wonder if and when she’d ever ‘reap a harvest if [she did] not give up.’  There was not much of a ‘harvest’ at this point in her life…

She had always done ‘good to all people, especially to other Christians.’  It had always bewildered her that most of the many and deep hurts of her life had been inflicted upon her by those who considered themselves to be Christians.  She was still attempting to heal from some of the deeper wounds…  She waited daily for the balm in Gilead which might heal her quite broken heart.

In the meantime, she took every OPPORTUNITY, as she always had, to continue doing good to all with whom she came in contact – whether or not it was reciprocated…


5/18/12                                                      PERSPECTIVE                                    (5 Minute Fridays)

For your ways are in full view of the LORD, and He examines all your paths.
Proverbs 5:21

perspective:  n.    a visible scene, especially one extending to a distance; vista -
            the state of one's ideas, the facts known to one, etc., in having a meaningful                                  interrelationship

The view ahead had been hope-filled, sunshine-clear and heart-poundingly exciting.  It had stretched ahead far into the invisible future - a long path, flanked by incredibly interesting life situations, neatly furrowed, fertile expectations…

She had strong roots - belief in God and Family and Possibilities.  She had tended the vineyard with diligence, care, dedication, attentiveness, devotion and love.

She had walked the dusty path, which had, in reality, not been as straight as it had appeared.  It had turned and twisted in strangely serpentine fashion.

Now she was far into the distance, nearing the horizon on the always narrowing lane, having traveled far past  the robust, stable, sturdy time of life and into this delicate, unsure mist of existence.

Yes, her perspective had certainly changed - as had the ideas, the facts, the pathway, the end… 


5/11/12                                                             IDENTITY                                    (5 Minute Fridays)

And we all, who with unveiled faces contemplate the Lord’s glory,
 are being transformed into his image with ever-increasing glory,
which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.
II Corinthians 3:18

Identity:  n.  absolute sameness; individuality

She was the too-soon-born eldest daughter - the ‘big sister’ to her 4 siblings - the quiet, shy, studious, obedient, responsible eldest one…

She was the wife who had supported - physically and emotionally - the college professor/seminary student/minister/businessman/school administrator husband…while her marriage had lasted…

She was the receptionist/student/flight attendant/pastor’s wife/mother/foster mother/student (again)/teacher/businesswoman/archival preservationist/now unemployed/unwanted/older-yet-still-young-at-heart woman who was reflected in the mirror…

She was the mother of two very-long-awaited-now-grown-children and the Gramama of two very precious grandchildren…

She was the loyal friend and private confidante to many through the years - a Child of God who had clung to Him through it all…

But who had she been -  who was she REALLY?  She did not know.   


May 4, 2012                                                  REAL                                                 (5 Minute Fridays)

From the ends of the earth I call to you, I call as my heart grows faint;
 lead me to the rock that is higher than I.
 For you have been my refuge, a strong tower against the foe.
          I long to dwell in your tent forever 
                        and take refuge in the shelter of your wings.            
Psalm 61: 2-4

Real:  adj.  existing in fact, actual

The Hope she had for a wonderful future life when she escaped a painful childhood and married a Christian, tall, dark ad handsome man was Real.

The excitement of the anticipation of making a Family, full of children, and all the blessings she felt would follow was Real.

The pain of many years of emptiness, childlessness, criticism and disappointment was Real.

The exhilaration of finally having Two - one by adoption, one by birth - was Real.

The ultimate devastation of the end of a long marriage was Real.

The daily, formidable struggle of the ensuing years in making a life unexpectedly on her own was Real.

The desolation and emptiness of losing jobs, her home, her life with her children and grandchildren is constantly, minute-by-minute Real.

The pain constant rejection in her whole life - no matter how hard she tried or what she did or how much she loved - is Real.

The strength to continue - through All of these Trials and Tribulations - which could only come from her Lord - is Real.

Thank You, Lord, for being with her still when all else has been taken away.

4/27/12                                                COMMUNITY -                                     (5 Minute Fridays)

May the LORD, the God who gives breath to all living things,
appoint someone over this community…
 Numbers 27:16

Community:  n.  a body  of people with something in common

Her COMMUNITY had at one time been very large, incorporating those of a broad spectrum and great number of people…

Through the years and varied situations, it had currently become extremely small, in one sense - (She lived Alone in a tiny place she had nicknamed, ‘hell’, and far away from any Loved Ones -) - and yet in another sense, it had continued to grow -  in the ‘real’ world - (She had discovered several Local Friends who were in similar situations -) - and in the ‘virtual’ world - (She had Newfound Blogging Friends all over America -).

At this point, her ‘body of people with something in common’ - those in her COMMUNITY - are:
            1.  Women
            2.  Older, but not Old…still very Young-at-heart -
            3.  Intelligent, Educated
            4.  Attractive, Personable  
            5.  Christian, Committed
            6.  Mothers of grown children, Loving, Giving
            7.  Having no ‘Mate’ nor ‘possibilities of such’ to share responsibilities, Capable
            8.  Unemployed or Underemployed - for all of the education and experience of their lives
            9.   Struggling to know God’s purpose for the rest of their lives
            10.  Still hoping to make worthwhile contributions to our world

The mystery of the Hows/Whys and What-to-dos are imminent and uppermost in All of their minds…

Although she is ‘actually’ Alone most of the hours of the days and nights, it is Some comfort to know that she is at least part of a unique COMMUNITY…

Please, Lord, appoint someone to want/need/hire/care for this COMMUNITY…Amen.

4/20/2012                                                TOGETHER -                                    (5 Minute Fridays)
And over all these virtues put on love,
 which binds them all TOGETHER in perfect unity. 
Colossians 3:14

TOGETHER is where my heart yearns to be…where I thought we always would be…

I’d waited so incredibly long and had gone through so incredibly much to ‘get’ them.

In all that I did and all that I went through in the ensuing years, it still never occurred to me that we’d not always be TOGETHER.

I knew things might eventually change somewhat - it was inevitable to a certain extent - but not ever did I expect the vast Spaces that would separate us - great Spaces of various types.

One never knows how simple little things can change the whole direction of lives - how a word, a thought, a breath - can instigate an unending spiral…

I ache day and night with the desire I have to be TOGETHER with them - to touch them - to hear their voices - listen to their thoughts - watch them and see the Who that they have become…

The pain I bear because we are apart is immense and I pray and wait for the day when we shall, hopefully, be TOGETHER again…

It cannot be soon enough.

TOGETHER is where my heart yearns to be.

4/13/12                                                GOOD-BYE                                                (5 Minute Fridays)

Still another said, “I will follow you, Lord;
but first let me go back and say goodbye to my family.
Luke 9:61

There have been many of them…and all of them painful…all of them signify an end of one thing or another.

It’s the heart-quickening stabs that begin way before the end.

It’s the little-Dutch-Boy-finger-in-the-dyke-to-hold-back-the-oceans of tears that threaten to flood and overtake the cool reserve which one is supposed to maintain.

It’s the unknowing uncertainty of the coming days…months…years…the never-knowing when - how - if there will ever be another communication.

It’s the daily News reports…the daily listing of those for whom those two words are the Ultimate Finality.

It’s ever so much heavier than the casual, “See you later!” that the world carelessly tosses around.

It’s all the years of discouragement and failure…then the years of successful bearing and raising of God’s Precious Gift to me.

It’s every cell in my body - aching - screaming - reaching out - to touch until the last second before the airplane is boarded, the door tightly closed and he is once again…off to War.

It’s the Unbearable Weight of those two words - GOOD-BYE - that takes my breath away - rips my heart apart and leaves me falling down into the black, vacuous abyss of nothingness until…one day he’ll return…and I can once again feel him in my now-again barren, empty arms…

4/6/12                                                LIGHT                                                (5 Minute Fridays)

But if we walk in the light, as He is in the light,
we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus,
 His Son, purifies us from all sin.
I John 1:7

Plants need Light for good growth.

We are told to eat and drink ‘Light’ for our good health.

We Lighten the load of those we love who are burdened with pain, sorrow or overwhelming odds.

We use a Light touch - a gentle touch - to show love and tenderness to our Dear Ones.

A Lighthouse guides ships to safe harbor.

We Light a candle to disburse the darkness.

I now live with very little Light because of 'where I am.' 

I do so miss the Light and warmth of sunshine.

I miss the Light in children’s eyes when they understand something for the first time -

I miss the Light in a lover’s eyes when I walk into the room -

This tunnel is long and dark and I see only a glimmer of Light at the end of it -

I pray daily for the Darkness to subside and the Light to guide me to where I should go -

Lord, in my darkness where there is no light, be my Light and show me the path - Help me grow in You - Lighten my heavy load - Touch me gently - Guide me safely to Your Harbor - Let Your Light shine through me in this dark and pain-filled world - Let me see the Light in Your eyes that I may know Your love and acceptance - Light my eyes with understanding of Your will for me and those I love - Let me see the Light at the end of this Dark Tunnel.

Lord, Thank You for Your Light!

3/30/12                                                         GIFT                                            (5 Minute Fridays)

From childhood, I knew I wanted to be a Mother - to prove I could do it ‘correctly’ and not as ‘poorly’ as it had been done to me - and because I had a heart full of ‘mothering love.’

Years and years of empty days and nights and finally a long-awaited, most precious Gift was placed in my aching arms and heart…

She - a Gift to me - a perfect, tiny, brand-new life - for me to love, guide, teach, care for and offer All of Me - to ‘mother’ -

I - a Gift to her - to receive All of Me - my Very Best, not Perfect, but My Very Best -

We are opposites in many ways…  Nurture could not overcome Nature.  She will always have ALL of My Heart - so thankful for the Gift of her am I.

In these empty-again days and nights, I remember all of the years in between…all of the ‘loving mothering’ - the Gift of her -

I wonder…  Does She?

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  -->
3/23/12                                                    LOUD                                                 (5 Minute Fridays)

The Silence of my life rings deafeningly Loud in my ears -

Children’s voices once proclaimed their presence - their joy of life - their quest for information - Why - How - When - Where - Who -

Days were filled with Loud - constant talking - joyous laughter - often teasing - precious piano practice - gentle loving -

Voices called throughout the big house - Loud - from the far corners of the huge yard - Loud -

Now there is only Quiet in this very small space - there is no Loud - there are no voices - no laughter - no teasing - no music - no loving -

The Loud has died - only the Silence lives - and daily My Heart cries to the Lord…

I am Silent…  I am Still…  I know that He is God…  Please speak to me in this Silence…  Speak Loud, so I will know the way…

I did not know there would be Silence…  I only knew the Loud - I desperately miss the Loud…

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  -->
3/16/12                                                          BRAVE                                               (5 Minute Fridays)

When I was summoned to the cockpit after racing through a quick beverage service between Chicago and Grand Rapids and then waiting longer than normal for the ‘landing announcement’ by the Captain, I felt Brave as I was told to prepare the passengers of the B-737 for a ‘planned emergency landing’ back at Chicago’s O’Hare International Airport from whence we had just come… 

I felt Brave as I then hugged and quickly prayed with my two flying partners who had burst into tears when I told them what was happening… 

I felt Brave as I pulled my small suitcase from the forward closet to get out the Emergency Checklist and waved pluckily to the tense and fear-filled full load of passengers who stared panicked eyes at me - putting the whole of them at ease with my calming smile and cheerful wave… 

I felt Brave as we quickly and methodically prepared them all and the plane for the landing-of-unknown-results… 

I felt Brave as I finally sat on my jumpseat and awaited the final outcome, praying again and reviewing in my mind the post-landing procedures should we need to evacuate quickly… 

 I have felt Brave during Many other life situations, which have been for all practical purposes ‘unbearable’… 

I have passed on that Calm Reserve and Bravery to my son who now serves as a Marine Captain and is currently on his 3rd Deployment - this one to Afghanistan… 

HE is the Bravest Man I have ever known - or will ever know…  HE is Brave.  I am Proud.

(See - The Rest of the Story...)


  1. Nice post Lynn! I'm sure you have a reserve full of 5 minute posts! Keep up the hard and good work. Love you!....Deb

  2. Riveting! Nicely told, Lynden. Congrats, too, for being brave and putting yourself out there.

  3. Wow, what a scene! Brave indeed. Thank-you for this bracing dose of inspiration.

  4. Aww.......Lynnie, your words are beautiful and yet heavy on my heart as they obviously are on yours. I guess if it is an encouragement at all, the words are moving and your ability to express them shows your ability to write courageously and with depth of meaning. I'm sorry that they tell your story though! I wish they were just random beautiful words rather than your truth. I pray that God will answer you in your silence with his LOUD love for you and that HE will fill those spaces that are crying out in you.

  5. Wow, very well put. Real and painful

  6. Thx for putting things across in such a real manner! :)

  7. Hi Lynden . . . Like the character in your "dance" entry, I too wish I had begun dancing much earlier in life. Your words--and that longing--remind me that I can't re-do the past, but I *can* dance today. So I'm going to put on some music right now.

    Keep writing. And singing. And dancing.

    Anne / shadowwonder

  8. That is wonderful. I loved your dance 5 minute friday. It's true. Sometimes we wait until we think it's too late to actually live... to dance.

    New follower from 5 min Friday...


  9. These are lovely posts. You need to link them up so others have a chance to enjoy what you're sharing.

  10. Beautiful! I can feel the emotion. I can feel the hope. I can feel the pain. I feel your love. Thank you for sharing your 5 minute STORY. I loved it! Visiting from www.zealousforhim.com.

  11. Yes! He gives us opportunities to share our stories when the time is just right, when those who listen are ready to hear.

  12. Sometimes people aren't ready to read that story yet because they are afraid of that they'll learn.

  13. Hi Lynden. I just popped over from Five Minute Friday and read your posting for Beyond. Your writing is powerful, and speaks from the raw emotion of true journey. Beautiful.

  14. Your post on the word connect is touching. It really is a sad thing when we cannot connect with people. It's almost like a person reaching out to blind people.

  15. I read your post about the word Stretch. It is beautiful - is it about you? I know it is a word picture I will carry with me as I read God's Word and feel Him stretch me. Oh to be limber in our hearts as we grow older!

    Here is mine: http://seeblogb.wordpress.com/2012/08/21/4/. I am just getting started.

  16. 8/17/12 And all that stretching has brought about a lady filled with grace and goodness.

  17. I love the last part of your "Stretch" post. What a legacy and what a commission: to praise the Father with our all and our last.


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